Article Tags : Dating . dating in the disposable economy . disposable economy . instant gratification
Dating, business and the economy have more and more in common: computers, cell phones, delete buttons and instant gratification.
In the online dating world, you can browse thousands of prospects, send messages of interest, get replies and even meet. But, just as fast as you can move your scroll bar and click, you have another choice and another – an endless array of prospects.
In the same way, there are endless prospects and opportunities in the financial and business world. You meet someone. There’s seemingly an interest and, just as quickly, a relationship that you think has promise evaporates. There is no further communication. No sorry. Nothing. Rudeness rules and common decency is out the window.
The underlying message: you are disposable. You don’t have value for me. You are a commodity.
Never before have I seen such a lack of human connection. Like dating, if the interest is gone, you’re simply not worth the effort to give any explanation. This is the instant gratification society with little time to even spend a minute or two to let someone down in a civil way.
The common answers might be:
– who cares
– don’t want to lead them on
– if I don’t answer, they should know I’m not interested
– overtly rejecting someone can be painful for the rejection and rejectee
Even though these explanations may have merit, there’s another strategy that’s opposite to instant gratification: investment. Many times the reasons for people to stop communicating may not have anything to do with you.
Here’s what to do step-by-step:
1. Evaluate the prospect
2. Determine whether there is any potential in the relationship
3. If there is, find creative ways to keep the communication going
4. Try – though not easy, especially at first – not to take things personally
1. Often, I have found that when I am frustrated and want to lash out at the other person for making it difficult to reach them, it is just the time to muster self control.
2. Just when I want to give up, the next communication or two turns into a relationship that became very rewarding.
What is the winning strategy?
Have a number of dates of all types so that you have less to lose by communicating even when the person doesn’t respond. Even if 1 out of 10 finally get back to you, that one extra relationship may be the one you were looking for.