4 Steps To Handling Bullies In School And In Life

Written By Gary Spirer Published October 18th, 2010

Lately, CNN and other media have been addressing high school and college suicides precipitated by classmates and cyber bullies. This is a growing problem since local shaming and aggressiveness can now be elevated to national and international humiliation using the Internet and smart phones.

Sadly, cyber bullying can invade a young person’s life and leave them no place to hide.

Many of us have suffered the taunts and aggressiveness of school bullies. They seek dominance out of insecurity or purely for the thrill of power. They like to get peers to follow them to inflict pain on those who don’t fit into the bully’s idea of the world.

On an animal level, bullies sense weakness in looks, behavior, intelligence and sexual preference. Once they feel they can exploit a weakness in another, they can become physically or emotionally abusive or both. Often, the bully has little remorse or empathy. There is little regard for the psychic scars that can haunt a victim for a lifetime.

Sam Cawthorn endured a life-threatening automobile accident. That accident – and near-death experience – which literally tore an arm from his body, inspired Sam to speak to others to be resilient and bounce back from adversity.

Recently, Sam published a FREE e-Book called "The 4 Needs 4 Teens – a guide to assist teens with getting over the stuff they’re bombarded with every day and find their Bounce."

The 4 Needs (steps) are:

1. Acceptance
2. Meaning
3. Love
4. Destiny

What is instructive is that these 4 Needs are what a community must educate its young to embrace to give them self esteem and the inner strength to handle bullies and life itself.

Bullying can be reduced when there is a total community education and effort so that the bullies are exposed for what they are.


As Sam states, you need to teach teens and young adults to "hang with the right crowd."

Teach them not to run after the popular crowd since often the popular crowd will put them down. Often, the popular crowd needs to put others down to make themselves feel accepted and loved. And, with the right crowd that accepts you, you get support to resist or expose the bullies.

Not easy, unless the community supports your crowd against the bully. But, it’s a start in the right direction.

Learn to accept yourself and your strengths. Just be yourself. Be real. Not fake.


Next, identity. From Sam:

"You are not alone…If you don’t stand for something…you’ll fall for anything…instead find your truth…you’re not ugly – you’re beautiful…having meaning in your life means always having a purpose…"

There is no one big answer to one big question. Your responsibility is you. "Deal with that and move on."


"1 is the loneliest number. We were born to connect with people" – and love them.

We want to love and be loved. Don’t fall into the "I don’t care" or the "whatever" trap. Love yourself. Love others. Love life. Go for it. Create the life you’re meant to live. This feeling will give you the inner strength to resist bullies and deal with your inner fears, doubts and normal questioning of life’s ups and downs.


"Our need for destiny must be matched with hope and faith."

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." ~ Marianne Williamson

Sam says:

"Cultivate a desire to be the best you can be…This is your Destiny."

The true meaning or significance is making a difference in others’ lives. "Be different, make a difference…The world wants and needs you to do so."

Sam echos my belief. Be the outsider looking in – be different – yet, be accepting of others and yourself, have a purpose, love and be loved and forge your destiny. With this inner strength, you can resist the bullies and defend others from them. You can push your school and community to take notice, be involved and educate others on what to do to handle bullies.

Not easy, but follow Sam’s 4 Needs (steps) to point you in the right direction to live the life you really want to live.

Thanks Sam.

Go to SamCawthorn.com "The 4 Needs 4 Teens"

Roger Due

Investing in Your Destiny® & Coaching Program - Wealth Building Summit Dallas, Texas

My name is Roger Due and I am from Albuquerque, New Mexico and I am the owner of the Monsano software company. This has been an absolutely fantastic conference. This is the best I have ever been to.