Article Tags : anecdote . appearances . business success . communication . PERFECTIONISM . PHYSICAL appearance . superficial
Some people don’t care about their personal or company appearance; they don’t care about how they present themselves
To me, that reflects upon the whole person and the person’s organization. There are many people and other businesses — rightly or wrongly – that value these traits. They view the person as being reflective of the business and vice – versa. Unfortunately, most people are very attached to superficial appearances. And you are what they see and hear. There is little patience or time to go beyond the “function” you represent. When I meet person after person who seems satisfied with superficial communications, I have found this troubling. There is a strong sense that you are disposable.
We all bring certain images thoughts feelings to an encounter. We may emit an air of confidence or inferiority. For me, I was shy and laid back, when I was young. I would often mumble. My father’s forceful dominant, tyrannical approach to life intimidate me. He was the king; my mother the queen. I existed to serve their needs and ideas of the world. I tried to be the good boy; the perfect person. I tried to perform to get my father’s approval and my mother’s love. I was overly sensitive to being ignored rejected or undervalued. These feelings crept into my encounters with people. To over these feelings I read and observed others.
I have found this, at times, painful to reconcile. Often, I felt I had gotten an unfair evaluation. But there is no way you can control how a person responds to you. However, you can increase the odds by attending to that which you control – how you look, behave, speak, including your voice tone, vocabulary, you overall attitude, enthusiasm, energy level.
I found that better communicators are able to elicit personal details from others and truly enjoy the exchange
Even in brief encounters, there is a sense of focus, understanding and at times warmth to the communicator. They demonstrate self-respect and mutual respect—a desire for fairness. There is a sense that you are a person—not a pawn an object or a means to some end. I have been in business relationships that evolve into more personal relationships. But, admittedly, this is rare. There is too much vying for position and too much of a frenzy to achieve and succeed. Too little time to explore.
Being a good communicator and embracing appearances you control leverage tools that you can increase dramatically positive first impression by others.
My view is that you should reflect your true self in a way that people can quickly perceive your or your company in a positive light.
Truthfully, this has until recently been a personal and business weakness. I sought to keep my overhead low. As my business grew, my headquarters became more cramped. My business nor my appearance did not reflect its abundance. It reflected scarcity.
At times, I dressed exceptionally well. I also had magnificent offices. Then, I let myself slide. I thought it was cool to look under-dressed and casual. I came to feel that maybe informality was a rebellion against the barrage of images from the media and stress of modern life.
On a deeper level, something in me could not reconcile my success. In a sense, I wanted to hide and not have my career and business swallow up as it had my father. I resisted this notion of being a workaholic. Yet, what we resist persists. I had to face being a workaholic like my father. Also, my father became successful; he could not delegate and create the appearance of an expanded, team-oriented enterprise. Ironically, I had the same challenge as my father. When I learned the concepts of leverage, I started to realize I had fallen into the non leverage position of “I am the business; I can do it all. No one can do it better.” Like most consultant’s professionals and small businessmen, I was operating from a non team approach. I was not using OPT or other people’s talents optimally.
Once you understand the concepts of leverage, you can better see where you are and the tools you need to increase substantially your rate of return on your efforts
You begin to gain clarity as to your true self; what the vision and USP of your company is; the meaning of your career. Your entire perspective changes. In small precious ways your surroundings and your team start to reflect you. You realize you can create abundance with less effort and have more time to devote to living your life to the fullest – more time for your children, your significant other; your friends, your hobbies, your charity or mentoring work. You become infused with the desire to communicate the real you, your real company, and/or your real vocation or career. You begin to develop empathy and become attuned to others. You naturally see how to translate your essence – what is unique about you, your company and career. You start assessing your strengths and weaknesses. You can admit to weaknesses. You find others who are strong where you weak. You begin to forge an environment of abundance. Where you encounter daily challenges, you have more energy and resources to fashion challenges into opportunities for big returns monetarily, physically or spiritually.