Article Tags : approval seeking . belonging . drive for recognition . Entrepreneurs . loners . recognition . social beings . status
What drives people is they need to belong
We are social beings. Many people want to make money s they can achieve a certain group status and belong. This drives many entrepreneurs. Some entrepreneurs are basically loners; it’s hard for them to admit that their “friend,” “mistress,” or “wife” is their business or career. For some people, their business or career is synonymous with their life. They need to do well in their career or business to feel like they belong. Their value and self esteem is tied to performance. They fail to see their value as human beings. Performance is measured ultimately in dollars or some other measurement criteria that maintains a certain status or position.
Poor performance means criticism, shame, rejection, failure, etc.
There is a failure to gain recognition. There is high frustration. This typically reflects a perfectionist, an internal tyrant that cannot accept anything less than full achievement of some goal. The goal must be attained to feel a sense of belonging and recognition. Anything less could lead to vulnerability, exposure, and pain. Overemphasis in the financial area leads to much unhappiness.
The drive for recognition and belonging are paradoxical
The idea of achievement and accomplishment is very stimulating. When certain days go well, the adrenaline is pumping. But poor performing days or events plunge the person into fits of despair. One want to fly high, achieve, be recognized, and yet, at the same time, there is a need for security, a home base. On “good” days, friends and family seem “good,” and on “bad” days the reverse. Without being anchored and understanding or probing your truest self, you are adrift and subject to outer events dictating your performance level and your identity.
Careers and businesses can give you the structure you need. But, again, this structure can be nurturing or imprisoning. When your career or business runs you, your structure becomes your prison. When you see your business or career or moneymaking as a part of and not synonymous with your life, then you are integrating and welcoming your full self.
When we reduce life we find there are certain elements that are critical: Love, Work and Spirit.